=)

"Why you don't want to try to apply (into ivies)?"

Because I could never imagine the house to collapse if i were to be absent. Because I need to help. Because I hope someone would replace me to help. Because I scare something bad will happen. Who doesn't want a faster, better, brighter learning?

"She looks like a lucky girl with great, happy life!"

Who knows the story behind the big smile? Who knows how hard it is to show up when she sees a live shouting dispute? Who knows how much she wishes someday, someone will stand by her when she stands by her mother? Who knows she is actually not strong enough yet to really help? Who knows to what extent she can be feared by her own family? Who knows she is trying so damn hard to make sure everything is okay?

She wonders.

Sometimes I am surprised by the fact that I can always show =) to people when in fact the reality shows =( =( =(. I was even surprised to recall what I had talked that day during OC class (impromptu speaking). But now, i know why i said so. Free of being partial, those words just came out that time. All is because it is a fact. For innumerable times i told myself, just forgive and forget. Anyone, just anyone on earth, who ever did something bad directly or indirectly to me, always is forgiven. Ya, the over forgiving me. I still can't change this innate trait. Try me, hours passed and i will forgive him.

Curious?

I have just watched a scene of live shouting, by the two souls that brought me to earth. 3 meters away, i saw a bowl shattered to pieces and my heart followed, crashed. I just stood there with my eyes opened. That scene was my dinner.

Dramatic, real.

Picture and feel the scene, now you ask me again then. "Why you don't want to fly next year??" and i will show you a pair of sanguine eyes.

=)

Day 2. Thank god there's something called blog, a what to sing sorrow, not a who.