Apples

Chinese, no, I should say Buddhist, would buy fruits and stuffs to serve our own pantheon of gods (or whatever you want to call them in English) on the first and fifteenth day, according to (I think is) the lunar month calendar. When it comes to celebration like Wesak and CNY and so on, they normally fall on those days.

Then, my parents will of course buy fruits, mostly apples. Wesak is tomorrow (so my now is Friday), counting apples I already had in my rooms, some in Akasia, there are twelve. This morning my mom bought another twenty-four, which were supposed to be used tomorrow morning, for the worship. BUT, thanks to my father irruption of.. I don’t know, something like female’s PMS, all the apples were passed to me. I am eating one.

He called my mom this morning, after failing to find a letter, which was hidden, but not really. My mom came back, and I was just like a plant (alive, only scientifically), after underwent ‘audiolysis’ with what my dad had shouted to the call and went out, I also absorbed my mom’s questioning and some scolding-to-the-air monologues (the carbon dioxide) in the afternoon. So, to retaliate, she asked me to take all the apples, and “let him go and buy himself!” Just now I was thinking about all the thirty-six apples, hoping that they can stay fresh longer so that none will be wasted. Oh god. 3 apples per day will do. lol.

***

I started to forget how many times I had been on the driving seat. It would be a happy one if there wasn’t traffic jam. But, living in Klang, sadly to say traffic jam = everyday happening. I would thank my father in the future, not now, for kept giving me surprises: I walked to the left side (from inside the car) of the car and found him sitting there already, so I had to walk to the right side and start the recurring exercise of my right foot.

What to do. Now my family has transport deficiency syndrome (TDS). This syndrome was first caused diagnosed by me, who found it often frustrating when we want to decide who to fetch who, and at what time and where. The symptoms for TDS are: even frustrated drivers (in which we only have two in Klang, one unreachable in Kampar, one not fully developed (yet) in Klang/Shah Alam); sacrificed passengers, mainly us, because we get free ride and so priority is on those students & workers who pay (my parents fetch them); starved children, normally happen on my younger siblings and I because when we want to get food, there is nothing in the kitchen inside, and nothing even a bike outside; forgotten child, my dad forgets to pick my brother once fro tuition, he cried. Hence now I have to have enough practice.. =.= We are still waiting for the cure for TDS, which I think will heal us only after some months.

So, you can imagine this: when we want to share a vehicle, like A send B to place X so that A can go to place Y with C and later pick B back to Z(home) together, we will end up giving up the plan.

***

In some ways I see my father’s shadow in the character Lefty in the book “Middlesex”. (and hey~ the Middlesex part starts in the Middle of the book also! =.= Thank you Charis, the book made me laugh alone in my house, sometimes. haha.) Both are possible rich people (if they intended to be) but both ended up having a really not not really meaningful or dignifying life through a similar pathway: gambling. And then both of their wives got desperate but still somehow care in some ways towards their husbands. I would never (for now, maybe someday I will, maybe) look up to people who take a chance for money. I don’t believe in chances, I believe in causes. You do this, and so you get that. You flip a coin, you fool yourself.

***

Oh, yes. Spring result was out on Thursday. Um, it was better than what I had expected. But, again, I am aiming for a better one. =) Although I do not know for what and whom I do that for. You will say for me myself, my future. I don’t see that very true though. But today (Saturday) when my brother asked me what am I getting for mom on Mother’s Day tomorrow, my mom said “study well and that’ll be a present.” I felt discharged for a moment, and smiled. Hehe~

***

I dreamed. That was amazing, for me. Because I thought I was always too tired and therefore, I can’t/don’t dream. I knew I was wrong when the lecturer told us about the 5 sleeping cycles.. about we did not try to remember our dreams and therefore forget them.. I dreamed about person I do not want to remember, and also person I want to see. Always the person I want to forget will appear in the last cycle of my sleeping (and hence the last dream), just right before I officially wake up, which seemed so intentional that I can’t forget it and I can’t snooze anymore. I don’t hate the person; I just want to get rid of it.

***

Next:

a) Research the economics of Cambodia. I sort of have a rough image already.. but I am sort of lost in it also. =.=
b) Psychology tests evaluation: we are on our way, just started.. LOL
c) IE..

***

I wanted to make a call, or at least send a short message. But I pressed the red button and, that was it.
Sometimes, I feel unwanted.
swt.

Happy Wesak Day to you!

Happy Mother's Day to all mommy!! :)